Losing His Touch
by PrincessWaterlily33
Summary: A newly summoned demon believes himself to be on a roll when it comes to soliciting shrill screams from the people of Lydia's neighborhood, and he hasn't been happier in the longest time. But what happens when one girl in particular refuses to budge? (Based primarily on the musical!)


"... that beautiful sound!" As the pinstripe bitchboy struck that final pose, his clones mimicking him flawlessly, everything was meant to feel great. Performing was really half of his thing, after all! Can't scare people away with a half-assed delivery, and the shrill symphony that had preceded was a good sign he was on point. So why didn't he feel proud? Well, for starters, a couple copies had fallen flat on the last notes, and he stubbed his toe at one point when opening the door. Oh yeah, and they weren't alone in their harmonizing anymore.

Turning to the new guest, he growled, "And who the hell are _you_?!" Sizing her up, he figured she would make for an easy target: a maroon cardigan, a plaid-patterned dress, black tights, maroon ballet flats, and her messy auburn ponytail all screamed that she was a reclusive bookworm type. The kind that had never known real fear. The kind he could scare away in a minute. But it was rude to scare without an introduction, so he let her speak.

"Oh, my name's Emilia Hughes." Already such a pretentious name… He was gonna have fun with her. "My mother told me to go meet the new neighbors, and once I heard you all harmonizing, I figured it wouldn't hurt to join in. The door was open, after all." He rolled his eyes at that, running through the mental math as quickly as he could. Teenage girl, nerd, loved singing, and… was willing to trespass on others' property. The last bit threw him off, but the rest spelled a clear enough pattern.

"Well, if you're gonna perform with us, could you at least gimme a _hand_ with the clean-up?" He teased, reaching out and ripping the hand off the nearest clone with a radically unsatisfying crunch. He preemptively began laughing at his own joke, reveling in her screams of terror… Any moment now… _Wow, she must be a really quiet screamer. _The head honcho of the undead glanced back down, curious as to how far she had run… only to find that she hadn't moved at all.

"I mean… I guess I could, though I don't see how tearing your friend's hand off is going to do anything but create a bigger mess," she plainly stated, not at all amused by his joke. Though, with that having been said, she stepped away from him shortly after… but it was actually just to clean up, brushing together all the black, white, and green confetti into a neat little pile.

The creepiest old guy on the block couldn't help but stare as she worked. Not with the intent to be _That_ Creepy Old Guy, but just to marvel at how she hadn't even flinched. Even Lydia seemed impressed at her mental fortitude, watching this new girl with a light pink blush on her cheeks. What the hell?! What happened to terrorizing the neighborhood, inducing panic and stress?! He was not gonna stand for this! Whatever it took, he was gonna make her snap!

For now, though, Emilia seemed perfectly content with herself, having cleaned up after the confetti cannons and deposited it all neatly into the nearest trash can. "Well! Now that that's out of the way, would one of you do the pleasure of introducing yourselves?" She curiously asked, noting that neither of them had responded when she shared her own name. The smile on her face pissed off the recently summoned sweet-talker so much, but he couldn't really do much in the vein of introductions. So he just sorta nudged Lydia, urging her to do it instead.

"Oh! My name's Lydia… Lydia Deetz. And this here is, uh… This is Betelgeuse. Long story about him, but how about we, uh, save it for another time?" She suggested, fumbling over her words a bit. And as any good buddy would do, the recently introduced demon took the lead here, taking over for his seemingly incapacitated summoner.

"Personal guide to the underworld, at her service! Now, you're lookin' hungry. How 'bout some pizza? We just ordered!" He suggested, grabbing the pizza box from a couple minutes prior. This was bound to catch her off guard. "Pepperoni, mushroom, and…" He threw upon the box at this point, gladly announcing "Snakes!" to be the last topping. Surely this would do it! Right? … _Right?!_

"Aww, look at them~!" She cooed, picking up one of the snakes and letting it slither up her arm. Taking a closer look at its markings, Emilia soon declared, "Looks like a garter snake to me. Good to have around your garden for pest control, and they're great climbers! Not to mention, non-venomous." It seemed as if she could go on all day about snakes, and Lydia drew closer, as if she wanted to learn more…

Oh, now this was some royal _bullshit._

Throwing his arms up in frustration, the morally ambiguous suicide prevention worker just shook his head, retreating to the attic as his clones disappeared into thin wisps of smoke. "I can't _win_ with this one!" He cried out to himself, not even caring if she heard. The slamming of the door on his way up sure didn't help.


End file.
